SARAS CHI

We start

Sounds of the voice crashing, blurry, speeding up

bones and eyes  blur.

feet on the floor

we spin

vitality

ears soft and wind on the horizon.

Earth and wind, bones of ancient flowers, of seeds left behind, of the tracks on our souls, we admire our being. Capturing an ancient teaching, a word, a line a cycle of energy together, watching us not understanding, the confusion of the parts of our bodies, that we carry unaligned, unloved, unstretchable. we have energetic chi holes and falling saps of tree finger energy, that leaks our chi undetermined by christ or the pagan winds

all leaking and gathering

eyes getting brighter wind getting lost

a breathing skull

a wider gap

the spaces of our teachings

between

the chinese master, the old school, dance, the me, the here, the now, the it of us -

the basics of feeling, feeling the open heart more knit together, the chi chi chi

I have done some of this before.

I have held my chi in the palms of my hands

On a cloudy day at the beach, after a run, after a sweat, after glowering at this body, letting her tiger escape and show itself, the sand shapes, unwinding as a spiraling diva.. and then the exotic crash onto the shore into the ocean, letting myself feel its wash. It has been a long time for this active body to run and escape the thinking. the why. the wonder of what has happened to me now.i am older. I am still dancing. I am. I have aged.I feel it.

a constant source of wonder of all my old and new energies that I can move in or out of my body .all more available, more reachable and more tuned. Listening to my chi tells me this.

I love this experience of having lived in this body for now, for this long.

Whats happens next?

I am happy for wonder and light and smiles and happiness

It does appear now and more than then and i remember her...more often that preexisting soul ,

check 12 check 12

almost a punk rock star, a valencia San Francisco dike. In Woman's baths smells of Yoruba priestess, witch craft books and stores, chinese herbs, the body on a bike up those long hills the ritual of class was demand power, demand skill, technique, a skilled body, the symmetry.

The wounds ached to tell me, always telling me, it is wrong, all wrong. What have I done wrong . Why is it still so clumped up together in my muscles.

And the light in the studios and the awe of the teachers and the going across the floor, of the dancer at rehearsals, of the stage of the wanting to just be better at this, and over and over and over again, a dissatisfaction of where I landed

I think I wanna go to china or tibet or india and just get on with that old stuff. I guess I will need it, it is calling me now, just showing up.

Day 2 SARAS CHI

who is afraid of crystals and universal energies?i am I am

who is afraid to sing sweet songs? i am i am

who has no more laughter left in their bodies?

we do we do

we do not have this flowing innocence

we have knowledge

we have escapes and traps and very serious ways to tune our selves into this battered reality.

Who is afraid of all the dirty things? all the ugly stuff? all the decay, all the rot, and all of your own human shit?

who has not smelled a grave? who has not sat in the grass to pee out their inner scalding rotting urine of death?

let fall the little deaths inside us that should come out

we breath the air and it is alive and we keep it stagnantly hiding inside our dry ribs.

Give me a crystal and let me rub it until it turns blue

golden waves ascend me I am not afraid.i have never left my body

I am getting ready

preparing for wild carpet rides and journeys with shamans and witches and saras chi

Dynamic hybrid sorted confused or? What is it this energy soup?

No. I am not going to be afraid no more

don't you cry no more

NO!

I hear rock and roll music in the back ground, grunge black on the side lines, meaty thighs and lots of legs grounded into the earth stomping and the fairies in pink and purple were skipping and so the sea parted and we ran after this small seagull carrying a dead leg in its mouth, a pygmy was left to die on the quiet shores of africa and I see it pulling the sea apart so god can remember we are here to breath and meet its wonders so run after a little death once in a while . Prepare your self for this by holding onto all the universal starry flying skies of stars and falling monuments of men-

I am a goddess now..i am flowing in purple I am riding more orgasmic cosmic waves.

I breath 100 times. I undulate my spine. I punch. I draw life forces. I scoop out my womb from the dead babies I was to afraid to have. I knowthem they are my spirit guides. I know my animals. I know I am on the brink of being hysterically too esoteric and i love it

I will love it for you and we will destroy our ego daily and send love to our shabby fields of body

dance like a tumble weed wave of fire and burning desert waterfall .

Shape your hands and hold the eggshells between your smelling pits of sweat and labor I am beginning to love again as the chi builds

day 3 SARAS CHI

perpetual chi

kindness in chi

we see it

we travel for it

a moment of meeting many

the forms are on our left on our right

roses 12 inches away from our field continuing to protect our bodies from being charged by the bull. The bull is those we love those we fear and those we admire. All leads up to some feeling of desire or distance or the dead. Gather your chi now

The idea that we are not brave enough to hold the truth, pours onto ourselves, that idea may falter in weakness or in indecision in moments when kindness is not there

a big bite

the rough elements tear away at our brains, at our skin,at our temperature of possible survival.

Survival in the desert, on the sea, on the brink of a cliff. I need to know my legs. my legs not yours and my soul -what is that? that i do not know. My Will- i do not know

Can i just relax, for it, my will, has its own life

white doves fly up from the street as i drive by. fields turn brown green yellow red and corn flower blue. landscapes tell me there is space here. there is space here. it gives me breath . my bones

seek water. i look to the west .i hold my urine in my mouth, i imagine that i let it flow, i let it all flow in the deepest of blues i can imagine.

The world?it is impossible to allow ourselves to leak into this place, this jabbering bunch of hens and hounds does not want to see my spittle. i look. i gather. i gawk at it.

i want. i am hungry .my kidneys say work. i work. I work. i work more and i shutter with the cold with the ice hardening in my joints . That is the world today.

These elements can scare us or they can turn us to honey. I see a way to hold some of it in the palms of my hand as i have breathed over and over and charged this city of light golden pillows floating towards me . I swallow it all i believe for a moment.... i think i am not existing am close to being nothing for a moment?

Go go go it is never just go go go go go go flow flow flow flow flow flow flow

we are not going any more

we are not even there any more

we have disappeared into a universe of fluff that is sticky white and spinning us into what is really a dead spiders nest of my own camaoflougue.

i am the spider, the demon and i am lost sometime in my web in my own bitten nest

release her.

get the chi free ...

the end